I’m so puking in Supermacs now

-obese”

Dear obese,

Johnsathan hears your problem and knows the solution. Bulemia is very destructive…to peoples personal property bitch! so you better make sure that when you’re doing the two finger tombola you dont ruin someones stuff! That model on the add is very stylish and I’m afraid you’ll never be so. Because you are so fat our super stylish advice is to try and get a job at seaworld, I mean how long can shamoo live right??

Lots of stylish love,

Johnsathan!

The show starts and a clearly drunk Raquel stumbles down the entrance stairs. The audience goes and wild with clapping and screaming. She stumbles down to the kitchen and needs to be helped into her seat by a techy, so that she doesn’t fall all over the place. Then she starts talking and the camera moves in on her face. Her lipstick is uneven and shes wearing waaaaay too much eyeliner.

“There’s only one thing I love more then a bottle of cheap liquor inda mornin, and thats,..” Struggles to read telepromter, “I dunno,.. …some sorta salad!”

Raquel stumbles over to the counter, and starts to shout the ingredients out, “There some EGG!”, the audience (full of middle-aged women) start screaming even louder. “ya gotta mix da eggg, in yer bowl an add some..” She looks around for stuff to add, “..some spiccess..” Crowd goes even more crazy! Women at the back start whistling and shouting; ‘Spices! WoooO!’

Raquel take second to scratch herself, then goes back to cooking, “So, what am I making again,.. ? oh yeah, pizza,” she reaches under the table and pulls out a whiskey bottle of brown liquid marked “olive oil”  and takes a huge swig and spills it all over the counter top , “just add a little OLIVE OIL!”, auidence goes absolutly mental! Woman in the front row starts cuttin her wrists while screaming raquels name. Raquel looks for more ingredients, “yeah.. ..then and some.. ..green shit!”, audience goes completely insane, people need to be held back by security!,

Raquel then takes out a cigarette and starts to light up, but drops the lighter on the counter top and the “olive oil” ignites. “ahh crapp, not again…, Uggh, its been such a long day…”, Raquel finally looses consciousness before the fire alarms start to go off and the screen goes black.

I am such a super fan of your website. Being a lesbian, my life is very boring. Especially my sex life. I am so tired of shaving my legs, arms, back, legs again, face, head, shoulders and vag. I am also so tired of breathing! can you help me with this problem?

Your big fan – ClungeMagnet69″

Dear ClungeMagnet69,

Our stylish solution to your problem is…..just quit or sew it up!

Johnsathan

We’ll all see you next tuesday

The guy is hosting the show, wearing a casual suit and saying things about the game, “its so hard, I think this one might be too hard for some of you”, he suddenly stands up straight and says, “no, actually Im being told that its not that hard…., …but it is..”,

Switches to the studio, which is actually the control room from The Prisoner. The man sitting in the egg chair, stands up as an alarm sounds “WARNING, INDEPENDENT THOUGHT DETECTED!” over and over. He says, “Kill him!” and then the Giant Bubble from The Prisoner starts chasin the Play TV guy, who runs out of the studio screaming, “Im not a nunber! I am a person!!” the number on his badge reads; 11,

The next night, another guy is on the play TV set, he looks the exact same as the other guy, except with a unibrow. A voice over the speaker says, “Good Evening number 12…”