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Praise be to Glentantica!!! STYLISH!!
We’ll all see you next tuesday
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
God Blesh ya Kesha!
Posted: May 11th, 2010 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Even more p-p-p-p-product placement!
Posted: May 11th, 2010 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Skit 28!
John playing with the wrapper off a coke bottle and the ink comes off in his hand. he says “hmm i wonder whats in this stuff” and then blood starts coming out of his eyes. Then he says “i think i need some help…but the colours….JAYYYYSUS”
Posted: May 11th, 2010 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
TeleAwesome!!
Posted: March 30th, 2010 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Skit 27!
Two part skit. Starts off in a pub with these two big knacker women wearing massive hoopy earings drinking loads and then suddenly start to fight each other and completely destroy the place. They get kicked outside and continue fighting. A few hours later when the bar closes and the bar man leaves he walks out the door and down the road a bit and then bends down to pick up one of the hoopy earings still attached to an ear.
Posted: November 23rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Help! I’m a whale!
“Dear Johnsathan,
I weigh 2 stone and I am fat, I wanna look like that pretty model on the concern ad, how do I? My fingers don’t help me anymore and neither does my toothbrush? HELP
I’m so puking in Supermacs now
-obese”
Dear obese,
Johnsathan hears your problem and knows the solution. Bulemia is very destructive…to peoples personal property bitch! so you better make sure that when you’re doing the two finger tombola you dont ruin someones stuff! That model on the add is very stylish and I’m afraid you’ll never be so. Because you are so fat our super stylish advice is to try and get a job at seaworld, I mean how long can shamoo live right??
Lots of stylish love,
Johnsathan!
Posted: November 12th, 2009 under Stylish Advice Column! - No Comments.
The Cult of Raquel Ray
A spoof of the horrifyingly mundane “Rachel Ray” Show,..
The show starts and a clearly drunk Raquel stumbles down the entrance stairs. The audience goes and wild with clapping and screaming. She stumbles down to the kitchen and needs to be helped into her seat by a techy, so that she doesn’t fall all over the place. Then she starts talking and the camera moves in on her face. Her lipstick is uneven and shes wearing waaaaay too much eyeliner.
“There’s only one thing I love more then a bottle of cheap liquor inda mornin, and thats,..” Struggles to read telepromter, “I dunno,.. …some sorta salad!”
Raquel stumbles over to the counter, and starts to shout the ingredients out, “There some EGG!”, the audience (full of middle-aged women) start screaming even louder. “ya gotta mix da eggg, in yer bowl an add some..” She looks around for stuff to add, “..some spiccess..” Crowd goes even more crazy! Women at the back start whistling and shouting; ‘Spices! WoooO!’
Raquel take second to scratch herself, then goes back to cooking, “So, what am I making again,.. ? oh yeah, pizza,” she reaches under the table and pulls out a whiskey bottle of brown liquid marked “olive oil” and takes a huge swig and spills it all over the counter top , “just add a little OLIVE OIL!”, auidence goes absolutly mental! Woman in the front row starts cuttin her wrists while screaming raquels name. Raquel looks for more ingredients, “yeah.. ..then and some.. ..green shit!”, audience goes completely insane, people need to be held back by security!,
Raquel then takes out a cigarette and starts to light up, but drops the lighter on the counter top and the “olive oil” ignites. “ahh crapp, not again…, Uggh, its been such a long day…”, Raquel finally looses consciousness before the fire alarms start to go off and the screen goes black.
Posted: October 23rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 26!
Skit on old people telling children to get out of their garden, children telling old people to get out of their garden, demented old folks with alzheimers wandering around a garden
Posted: September 3rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Airhead out of air?
“Dear Johnsathan,
I am such a super fan of your website. Being a lesbian, my life is very boring. Especially my sex life. I am so tired of shaving my legs, arms, back, legs again, face, head, shoulders and vag. I am also so tired of breathing! can you help me with this problem?
Your big fan – ClungeMagnet69″
Dear ClungeMagnet69,
Our stylish solution to your problem is…..just quit or sew it up!
Johnsathan
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Advice Column! - No Comments.
Death by STYLISH!!
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Jem is truely truely truely STYLISH!
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Stylish Wonder – I’ve got hair
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Baby got front, back and sides!
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Dental plan o seguro dental los simpson
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Stylish woman doesnt care who’s watching!
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Skit 25!
An ad on television for litter box’s for elderly people. “not on the floor grandma….get into the corner and do it”. Show some old woman getting her nose rubbed in it when she doesnt use the box. hahahaha
Posted: August 18th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 24!
Even more horrible things that happen on play TV Ireland…
The guy is hosting the show, wearing a casual suit and saying things about the game, “its so hard, I think this one might be too hard for some of you”, he suddenly stands up straight and says, “no, actually Im being told that its not that hard…., …but it is..”,
Switches to the studio, which is actually the control room from The Prisoner. The man sitting in the egg chair, stands up as an alarm sounds “WARNING, INDEPENDENT THOUGHT DETECTED!” over and over. He says, “Kill him!” and then the Giant Bubble from The Prisoner starts chasin the Play TV guy, who runs out of the studio screaming, “Im not a nunber! I am a person!!” the number on his badge reads; 11,
The next night, another guy is on the play TV set, he looks the exact same as the other guy, except with a unibrow. A voice over the speaker says, “Good Evening number 12…”
Posted: August 7th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
skit 23!
the secret to my and johnsathan’s beautiful skin is …….”we swallow”
Posted: August 6th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 22!
more terrible things hapening to the ginger bitch on play tv. she gets a phone call during the show from someone who has been kidnapped and its the only number they could ring for some reason, “hello caller whats the food beginning with c”….”chommmba chummms….helllp meee…..”…”emm i think thats chumba chops? ive never heard of that before, thanks for calling.”…”please help me he’s got a knife…”….”please call again!”
Posted: August 6th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Pat Kenny gets it good!…
Posted: August 3rd, 2009 under Stylish Internets - No Comments.
Skit 21!
play tv skit 2. Switch it on at a later time to see the ginger one with her makup running down her face as if she’s been crying for hours. she looks like the joker. and she says “please…..whats the f@*ing answer” and then lights a cigarette
Posted: August 3rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 20!
flicking through tv and put on play tv. see the crazy ginger woman goin mad and shouting at the camera, “look in your f@*king fridge!!….its a f@*king fruit begining with f*@king X. Its not that f@*king hard! you f@*king cunts!”
Posted: August 3rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 19!
Me and john recreating saturday night by wigfield, getting dolled up like demented looking drag queens
Posted: July 28th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 18!
Jeremy kyle slithers out of a haunted mirror every morning in order to host his show as a demented lunatic. People in scotland watch jeremy kyle because they aspire to be the contestants. 16 year old mother “i wish i had 3 children for my brother”
Posted: July 28th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 17!
Barry gets lazer eye surgery:
Barry is lieing on the table wearing one of those gowns, he rolls over to reveal his terrys chocolate orange and the surgeon see’s and says “OH MY GOD! who wants to lazer my eyes”…then the nurse says “but doctor you need to perform the opperation on the patient” and then the surgeon says “must destroy vision…” and blows his head off with a lazer. Barry then says “is it done yet? i have a hot date tonight”..then the nurse says “yeah…i dont think tossing off blind pensioners for bottlecaps counts as a hot date”
Posted: July 27th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 16!
Barry on his bed with no top on and singing “erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body” to some other guy. The guy looks around and see’s a vat of acid and proceeds to stick his hands in it removing them to see they are skeleton hands. he then says “now for the eyes”..”must destroy vision….”
Posted: July 23rd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 15!
Walking past shops and looking in the window to see werid stuff going on, like walking past a shop and seeing a woman trying on a prostetic leg and saying “hmm i dont know, i think it makes my ass look big”
Posted: July 22nd, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 14!
2 gays 1 restaurant:
a new restaurant opens and we are the hosts. We escort 2 people to a table and they sit down and we give them the menus. while they are looking at the menus someone leaves the kitchen and the doors swing and all you can hear coming from the kitchen is the song from the two girls one cup video and the sound of puking. Then we go over to the table to take the order of the people and they go “whats happening in the kitchen”, and we say “oh yeah we hired two new brazillian chefs, they’re in the kitchen right now making magic! they are so amazing”..
- “so what would you like from the menu?…..cos natalya will totally eat it and puke it out for you or if you wait a few hours she could…” couple buts in “thats ok we forgot we’re anarexic so we’re not hungry, good bye”
- “so what would you like from the menu?….puke or shit?”..woman starts crying and i move down to her ear and whisper “you disgust me” and then lick her cheek and say “no one can handle sweetcorn”
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 13!
Big brother diary room. One of the housemates is giving out about another one of the contentants. “i wouldnt trust him as far as i can shit!..and as we all know thats not very far. Check out my website, www.itookahugeshitonyourmothersfacewhenshewasasleep.com”……”screw you winona rider! you’re always one step ahead”
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 12!
guy browsing the internet, lets call him barry. He suddently see’s that notification thing in the bottom right saying he’s gotten an e-mail from hot-or-not.com and he says “oooh hot or not” so he clicks on it and this big window opens with huge flashing red letters and screams “NOT!!!!” at him, his hair gets blown by the screen shouting at him
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 11!
internet pervert in a chat room for the elderly saying “WOW! you can upload your videos into my youtube anytime, just take your dentures out first. I just love a no denture adventure”
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 10!
Remake of the chest popping scene in alien only instead of an alien exploding out of the chest its gnarls barkley sininging crazy, soon followed by one of teh other characters saying “so thats where you’ve been these past few years”
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments. Tags: barkley, gnarls, movie, remake
Skit 9!
Series of completely ridiculous people playing really hard pieces on the piano, including ronald mcdonald and paris hilton
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments. Tags: mcdonnald, pianoskit, ridiculous, ronald
Skit 8!
Tony blair and george bush having sex. they say “yeah yeah we know its old and cliched, but we fell in love after our first time”…”now we cant stop exploring the caverns of love”….”oooh the next expedition is about to begin so unless you wanna join in i suggest you leave….slowly”
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 7!
Do you want to join our fan club..theres only one way in…but two ways out!
Posted: July 21st, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 6!
As soon as mcdonnalds closes at night ronald mcdonnal comes to life and eats left over burgers out of the bins, crying and saying he’s so fat. He also says that mcdonnalds has taken away his self respect like diabeties has taken away his foot
Posted: July 20th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 5!
walking up to people randomly in the street and saying “7 days” to them and then walking away. 7 days later we pop out of the closet and go “boo” and then say “now you have aids”
Posted: July 20th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 4!
guy walks into a bar and has a laptop in his hands and asks if there is a plug to use. He’s directed to the corner seat and proceeds to take out a microwave and popcorn maker and starts to make food, leaving the laptop unpluged
Posted: July 20th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 3
Carol smiley being killed in a mysterious paint accident.
Guys walk in to room after big explosion and carol is gone but all that is left is an outline of a person up against the wall with another outline beside it bent over mysteriously…
OR
she gets wallpapered behind the wall and is screaming help me and everyone else is like “do you hear something?”…”no no, not at all”
Posted: July 19th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 2!
Doing another skit on Spielbergs chest. Featuring sweetcorn
Posted: July 18th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.
Skit 1!
Doing a big skit all over spielbergs chest!
Posted: July 18th, 2009 under HotFlash! - No Comments.